My computer went down a week or so ago, so I've been quiet.
We had a hearing, and it turns out I'm not someone who throws racial slurs around. I had suspected as much. A few of the people who had falsely accused me recanted before the hearing, admitting they made it up because they were angry. They now seem to feel I owe them, since they got me out of trouble. They ignore the part about getting me into trouble that could ahve derailed my career.
One of my colleagues is leaving to work at Oprah's school. Neat.
I knew i dislocated my thumb before the break. I'm now pretty convinced I actually broke it. I was hit in the hand a little while ago separating two students and nearly blacked out. That seems unusual.
CPS has no record of my enrollment in the insurance program. Thankfully, this was discovered before I broke anythi...nuts. Anyone have an x-ray machine I can borrow?
Moving on to why i teach:
Today is the first tiem I am giving them Shakespeare. It's a historic day, as I don't think I've ever given a class Shakespeare before. I taught history, then ESL, then little kids, then took over a class that had just finished Romeo & Juliet. We're starting R&J next week, but looking at a few sonnets today (18, 29, & 130 if you care). They are supposed to write an updated version of one of the sonnets, changing either the language or the language and content. I read an example of what they were supposed to do, and some thought it was kind of cool. Not the guy I'll call Grapefruit ("So what are you doing this weekend?" "I'm going to find Mexicans and throw grapefruits at them!" "Why?" "I hate grapefruits and Mexicans!")
"Man I'd never be telling some b**** that she's got eyes like the sun or nothing like that."
Glare
"Sorry. I'd never tell no girl that stuff."
"Fine, write what you would tell her. That's the point"
"OK. How about 'These nuts!!!!"
Glare
"Ok. Can I say she has a big old ass?"
Glare
"I hate poetry."
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
oh yeah
One of the kids who complained that I used a racial slur Friday recanted yesterday. The other told another teacher it never happened, and he'd tell the principal that for $40. I suspect tomorrow's hearing will go pretty well, since I seem to be guilty of stopping students from beating each other while not using inappropriate language, which is generally held to be a good thing
The Filth and the Furry
"Hey, I don't get this thing. What's he trying to say?"
"The author's saying that some people think that Shakespeare might not really be Shakespeare. Maybe someone else wrote the plays using a fake name, so the guy in the drawing might not be the best writer in English. it could be someone else. The next paragraphs explain some of the possibilities. Does that help?"
"I'm sorry, I can't pay attention to anything you say so long as you're wearing that beard, Dan from Roseanne."
How does a guy born in the early 90's know about Roseanne? How did the other guy start making Castaway references as soon as he saw me?
If you ever think that your students aren't very creative, grow a beard and listen to their comments. Delightful
"The author's saying that some people think that Shakespeare might not really be Shakespeare. Maybe someone else wrote the plays using a fake name, so the guy in the drawing might not be the best writer in English. it could be someone else. The next paragraphs explain some of the possibilities. Does that help?"
"I'm sorry, I can't pay attention to anything you say so long as you're wearing that beard, Dan from Roseanne."
How does a guy born in the early 90's know about Roseanne? How did the other guy start making Castaway references as soon as he saw me?
If you ever think that your students aren't very creative, grow a beard and listen to their comments. Delightful
Saturday, January 19, 2008
In violation of SAG rules
Thursday was my acting debut at school. We had our MartinLuther King Day celebration, which included a play perfformed by teachers. If ever the offer comes to perform in such a play, be aware that "White police offer" is not the hero of the play. It is easily the most fun role in the play. I was able to beat teachers with a stick and deprive an old woman of water. Over the top supervillainy is fun. It's like being a wrestling bad guy.
Oddly enough, the next day, someone complained that I used a racial slur. Not true, of course, as anyone who knows me should know. I'm basically incapable of using the N word without an act of will, and don't use other slurs either. It is true I threatened to beat the student severely. I was somewhat annoyed, as he was choking another student while other kids rifled his pockets. I tend not to approve of that. So I'm in trouble, but for the wrong reason. I'm not particularly worried about it.
If you ever feel unappreciated at work, let a rumor circulate that you might be leaving. When I did quit, the response from staff and students was a factor in my mind changing. I have no plans to disappear now, but apparently there was a rumor, so i had staff members and students encouraging me to stay. It's easy to make them happy, since I was staying anyway. Still it's pretty touching when some of the bad ass kids quietly and secretly encourage me to stay. Consider it done.
Oddly enough, the next day, someone complained that I used a racial slur. Not true, of course, as anyone who knows me should know. I'm basically incapable of using the N word without an act of will, and don't use other slurs either. It is true I threatened to beat the student severely. I was somewhat annoyed, as he was choking another student while other kids rifled his pockets. I tend not to approve of that. So I'm in trouble, but for the wrong reason. I'm not particularly worried about it.
If you ever feel unappreciated at work, let a rumor circulate that you might be leaving. When I did quit, the response from staff and students was a factor in my mind changing. I have no plans to disappear now, but apparently there was a rumor, so i had staff members and students encouraging me to stay. It's easy to make them happy, since I was staying anyway. Still it's pretty touching when some of the bad ass kids quietly and secretly encourage me to stay. Consider it done.
Monday, January 14, 2008
Hmm
Our school has reward activities for students. If they are behaving, they get points every day. if they get enough points, they get one free class, where they play basketball, playstation, cook or do something else as a reward. This week, we're giving everyone a reward day. The idea is to hook them, so they all want it again (A strategy used by drug dealers as well.). This is making the day somewhat chaotic, and has some of the kids boiling over with energy (some are like that every day).
Last period was my prep period, and today it was dedicated to monitoring the few kids who picked surfing the net as their reward activity. We were going to use a computer room, but couldn't find a teacher in either oom, and they were so few we returned to my room. They mostly wanted to play music and dance around, which didn't seem too harmful.
After 20 minutes, the door open and a few administrators wandered in, looking the room over. I have an ugly room which needs me to decorate it more (I'm lazy in that regard), but I do have all the lesson plans, fire codes, school mottoes, and other stuff up, so i wasn't too concerned.
After a few minutes, the assistant principal asked me what the kids were supposed to be learning. It wasn't until then that I realized they thought my class might normally consist of listening to Soulja Boy and dancing. I assume that would make me the most popular teacher here.
Moral of the story: I'm dumb
Last period was my prep period, and today it was dedicated to monitoring the few kids who picked surfing the net as their reward activity. We were going to use a computer room, but couldn't find a teacher in either oom, and they were so few we returned to my room. They mostly wanted to play music and dance around, which didn't seem too harmful.
After 20 minutes, the door open and a few administrators wandered in, looking the room over. I have an ugly room which needs me to decorate it more (I'm lazy in that regard), but I do have all the lesson plans, fire codes, school mottoes, and other stuff up, so i wasn't too concerned.
After a few minutes, the assistant principal asked me what the kids were supposed to be learning. It wasn't until then that I realized they thought my class might normally consist of listening to Soulja Boy and dancing. I assume that would make me the most popular teacher here.
Moral of the story: I'm dumb
Friday, January 11, 2008
Sommelier
Today we were self contained. That means we sit in our division room from 7:43 to 1:58, with a break for lunch. This wasn't planned, so we didn't bring anything to keep them occupied, other than wit and charm. My aide was there, and only three of our students came, so it should be easy, but kids always escape other rooms and seem to wind up with us. I believe we're better off with a bunch of kids who don't belong there than with a bunch of kids wandering the halls, so if their teacher allows it, most are welcome. Of course, once they talk their way in, most decide to try sneaking out to go elsewhere.
At lunch, a student (I'll nickname him MD, for reasons that amuse only me) asked if he could come upstairs to my room after lunch. He's a favorite and generally no trouble, plus I hadn't seen him since before the break, so I sent him off to get his teacher's permission.
We swapped holiday stories, and I eventually asked him where he had been the other four days this week.
"Uh, there was an incident."
"MD, what did you do?"
"Why do you assume I did something wrong? I ain't like that. You gotta trust me more."
"So you weren't suspended or anything?"
"A little."
long pause
"I'm sorry. Did you just say you were 'a little' suspended?"
"Ok, look. I was out at the hotel party with some friends last weekend, and I brought one of those twisty things there, then forgot it was in my hoodie. When I got here, they saw it, and suspended me for bringing a weapon. It's bogus."
"Twisty thing? You mean a corkscrew?"
"Yeah. You drink wine? I shoul have known. Know why?"
"Why?"
"Cuz you got CLASS man."
pause
"Actually, I have 5."
longer pause
"Huh?"
"I have 5 classes."
longest pause ever
"Even for you, that's a stupid joke."
At lunch, a student (I'll nickname him MD, for reasons that amuse only me) asked if he could come upstairs to my room after lunch. He's a favorite and generally no trouble, plus I hadn't seen him since before the break, so I sent him off to get his teacher's permission.
We swapped holiday stories, and I eventually asked him where he had been the other four days this week.
"Uh, there was an incident."
"MD, what did you do?"
"Why do you assume I did something wrong? I ain't like that. You gotta trust me more."
"So you weren't suspended or anything?"
"A little."
long pause
"I'm sorry. Did you just say you were 'a little' suspended?"
"Ok, look. I was out at the hotel party with some friends last weekend, and I brought one of those twisty things there, then forgot it was in my hoodie. When I got here, they saw it, and suspended me for bringing a weapon. It's bogus."
"Twisty thing? You mean a corkscrew?"
"Yeah. You drink wine? I shoul have known. Know why?"
"Why?"
"Cuz you got CLASS man."
pause
"Actually, I have 5."
longer pause
"Huh?"
"I have 5 classes."
longest pause ever
"Even for you, that's a stupid joke."
A Brief Yet Triumphant Introduction
A teacher is one who makes himself progressively unnecessary. ~Thomas Carruthers
Today, something odd happened. I stopped by another teacher's classroom to offer a few words of support to the sub who was there. The students were in their homeroom all day today, because a lot of staff were out, so this woman had to spend 6 hours with a bunch of ed/bd teenagers. The kids get bored, the teachers get bored, and everyone gets testy. To their credit, the kids were pretty good today. No problems in my room, and the rest of the school seemed pretty calm. I go to relax and just talk to students at times, which is nice. I wouldn't want to do this often, but today was ok.
I'm supposed to be talking about the sub. I've subbed a lot, and it can be a lonely job. Our school is especially challenging, so we try to be supportive of subs that seem good. So, I popped in to say hi and encourage her to return. We got to talking, and I mentioned the school I was at last year at the end of the year. Coincidentally, she'd taught the same students. A teacher had gone on maternity leave, and they hired her while they looked for an English teacher, who turned out to be me.
We spent some time talking about old students, and I realized I was having trouble remembering some of their names. I only taught them for 6 weeks, but they were important to me at the time.
So I'm starting this blog. I want to record what I do, so I can rememberthem in a few years. The kids are often amusing, sometimes intentionally so. Hopefully, this will help answer the question some people must ask: Why do I do this?
Today, something odd happened. I stopped by another teacher's classroom to offer a few words of support to the sub who was there. The students were in their homeroom all day today, because a lot of staff were out, so this woman had to spend 6 hours with a bunch of ed/bd teenagers. The kids get bored, the teachers get bored, and everyone gets testy. To their credit, the kids were pretty good today. No problems in my room, and the rest of the school seemed pretty calm. I go to relax and just talk to students at times, which is nice. I wouldn't want to do this often, but today was ok.
I'm supposed to be talking about the sub. I've subbed a lot, and it can be a lonely job. Our school is especially challenging, so we try to be supportive of subs that seem good. So, I popped in to say hi and encourage her to return. We got to talking, and I mentioned the school I was at last year at the end of the year. Coincidentally, she'd taught the same students. A teacher had gone on maternity leave, and they hired her while they looked for an English teacher, who turned out to be me.
We spent some time talking about old students, and I realized I was having trouble remembering some of their names. I only taught them for 6 weeks, but they were important to me at the time.
So I'm starting this blog. I want to record what I do, so I can rememberthem in a few years. The kids are often amusing, sometimes intentionally so. Hopefully, this will help answer the question some people must ask: Why do I do this?
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