a quick lesson on English & culture

read the following and state the second person's main idea:

1. "Can you come to our English Corner Saturday morning at 9:00?"
"I'd like to, but I doubt I can come. It's too early. Maybe I'll come next time, but I think I'll miss this time."

2. "Can you ask any friends to come?"
"I would, but I doubt I'll go, so my friends won't. Besides, none of my friends are going to leave their house at 8:00 on Saturday to help people they've never met practice their English for free. Maybe saturday afternoon someone might come, but not saturday morning."

Bonus question: At what time Saturday morning should the first person begin calling the second? How many times should she call, and what is the maximum amount of time she should wait between calls (answers should be expressed in terms of nanoseconds)?

On an unrelated note, to the friend who stopped by yesterday afternoon to buy drugs after our conversation about how I was asleep, not a drug dealer, and not interested in helping you buy drugs at 3pm, thank you for the vivid lesson on the perils of ketamine. It's much appreciated.

stupidity is apparently a top import and export