Sommelier

Today we were self contained. That means we sit in our division room from 7:43 to 1:58, with a break for lunch. This wasn't planned, so we didn't bring anything to keep them occupied, other than wit and charm. My aide was there, and only three of our students came, so it should be easy, but kids always escape other rooms and seem to wind up with us. I believe we're better off with a bunch of kids who don't belong there than with a bunch of kids wandering the halls, so if their teacher allows it, most are welcome. Of course, once they talk their way in, most decide to try sneaking out to go elsewhere.

At lunch, a student (I'll nickname him MD, for reasons that amuse only me) asked if he could come upstairs to my room after lunch. He's a favorite and generally no trouble, plus I hadn't seen him since before the break, so I sent him off to get his teacher's permission.

We swapped holiday stories, and I eventually asked him where he had been the other four days this week.

"Uh, there was an incident."

"MD, what did you do?"

"Why do you assume I did something wrong? I ain't like that. You gotta trust me more."

"So you weren't suspended or anything?"

"A little."

long pause

"I'm sorry. Did you just say you were 'a little' suspended?"

"Ok, look. I was out at the hotel party with some friends last weekend, and I brought one of those twisty things there, then forgot it was in my hoodie. When I got here, they saw it, and suspended me for bringing a weapon. It's bogus."

"Twisty thing? You mean a corkscrew?"

"Yeah. You drink wine? I shoul have known. Know why?"

"Why?"

"Cuz you got CLASS man."

pause

"Actually, I have 5."

longer pause

"Huh?"

"I have 5 classes."

longest pause ever

"Even for you, that's a stupid joke."